Verlander Unavailable During Off-Season

In a highly unorthodox move, Detroit Tigers manager Jim Leyland announced during a press conference yesterday that he was shutting down ace Justin Verlander for the entirety of the off-season.

“With an arm like that, you don’t want to take any chances,” Leyland said.  “So, yeah, he’s done  for the off-season.  I don’t want him pitching, playing catch, signing autographs, giving interviews, going to see Reel Steel, baking anything, going out in public.  Really, all we’re gonna let him do in the next couple of months is to brush his teeth – with his left hand of course – and some light pool workouts.”

Later, he added: “You’re absolutely going to see Justin again.  Just not until opening day.”

Approached after the anouncement Leyland, characteristicaly enigmatic, kept repeating these three phrases – ‘no-brainer’, ‘slam dunk’, and ‘whiffle ball’ – before rolling back to Tiger headquarters on his motorized scooter.

It appears the wheels are already in motion as Verlander could not be reached or  found for comment.