True Facts: Five Freak Injuries by Carson Cistulli June 14, 2011 Scott Spiezio’s soul patch asks the big questions. While NotGraphs readers are assuredly still chuckling audibly from yesterday’s post concerning Angeleno pitcher Rubby de la Rosa and his alarming condition, it’s actually the case that de la Rosa’s isn’t necessarily the strangest of the strange injuries. Below are five totally real and so-not-fictional injuries to’ve happened to players of late. Regard: Player: Jim Edmonds Injury: Ingrown Cleat Comment: I recognize it doesn’t sound painful, but, like a paper cut or Intro to Anthropology, hurts way more than you’d expect. Player: Johnny Cueto Injury: Rejected Hoodie Comment: This is less of a physical, and more of an emotional, injury. But that doesn’t make it any less real, okay. Player: Scott Spiezio Injury: Existential Angst Patch Comment: This is that thing of when your soul patch enters a prolonged spiritual crisis. Player: Craig Counsell Injury: Dangerous Liaisons Comment: Counsell and his rival, the Vicomte de Valmont, use sex as a weapon of humiliation and degradation, all the while enjoying their cruel games. Their targets are the virtuous (and married) Madame de Tourvel and Cécile de Volanges, a young girl who has fallen in love with her music tutor, the Chevalier Danceny. In order to gain their trust, Merteuil and Valmont pretend to help the secret lovers so they can use them later in their own treacherous schemes. Player: Todd Coffey Injury: Hysterical Pregnancy Comment: There’s a fine line between a little overweight and being “with child,” turns out. Luckily for Coffey, this was just the former. Top Gun-style bro hug to Craig Glaser, Adam M. Mirchin, and other Internet Friends for soul patch-related wisdom.