Totally Unaltered Tweet: Mariano Rivera Will Continue to Shag, and You Can’t Stop Him

Night

NotGraphs’ Investigative Reporting Investigation Team has confirmed — through means most nefarious and, quite frankly, disturbing — that Mariano Rivera has but one move in the bedroom, and, much like his cutter, it is unmatched.

Remember: Safety first, kids. Unplanned pregnancies are the worst.

H/T: Mr. Nightengale.





Navin Vaswani is a replacement-level writer. Follow him on Twitter.

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BJ
12 years ago

http://espn.go.com/new-york/mlb/story/_/id/8944207/2013-spring-training-mariano-rivera-reveal-future-plans-opening-day

Both [Rivera] and Girardi said [Rivera] will continue to shag.
“I have to be ready and if shagging is part of my routine, then I’ll be doing it. How much? I don’t know, but I’ll be doing it.”