NotGraphs’ Investigative Reporting Investigation Team has confirmed — through means most nefarious and, quite frankly, disturbing — that Mariano Rivera has but one move in the bedroom, and, much like his cutter, it is unmatched.
Remember: Safety first, kids. Unplanned pregnancies are the worst.
H/T: Mr. Nightengale.
Navin Vaswani is a replacement-level writer. Follow him on Twitter.