Three Harts (Beat as One)

Milwaukee’s Corey Hart, recuperating from a January knee surgery, has yet to play a game this year. With fewer opportunities to appreciate Hart’s craggy visage, renewed potential exists for confusion with other individuals of the same name. Since a search of the Internet failed to produce a satisfactory guide, I have produced one myself.

	Corey Hart	Corey Hart	“Cory Heart”
Full Name	Johnny Corey Hart	Corey Mitchell Hart	Courtney Simpson
Occupation	Baseball player	Musician	Actor
Appearance
Height & Weight	6’6″/234	5’10″/?	5’2″/99
Birthdate	March 24, 1982	May 31, 1962	May 9, 1985
Birthplace	Bowling Green, Kentucky	Montreal, Quebec	Mesa, Arizona
Position	Right field, first base	Vocals, keyboards, piano, guitar, drums	Various
Teams	Brewers	Aquarius, Capitol	Max Hardcore, Wicked Pictures
Debuted	2004	1983	2005
Retired	–	“Semi-retired”	2006
Appearances	3802	9 (albums)	199
Hits	950	“Sunglasses at Night,” “Never Surrender”	Trophy Whores, Legal & Hot, Double Gulp
Awards & Nominations	2x All-Star; 25th in MVP voting, National League, 2010	2x Juno winner; nominated for Grammy, Best New Artist, 1984	Nominated for AVN Award, Best All-Girl Sex Scene, 2006
Religion	Converted to Christianity in 2011	“Is the opiate of masses” (“Political Cry”)	Raised a devout Mormon
Eyewear	Began wearing prescription goggles in 2010	Noted for nocturnal use of tinted lenses	Donned temporarily for Bookworm B*tches
Strengths	Home run power; deceptive speed	Passionate vocals; “cool, athletic” looks	Flexibility, congeniality
Weaknesses	Penchant for strikeouts; below-average defense	Lack of lyrical depth	Aversion to “watersports”
Controversy	Allowed infant daughter to be sprayed with beer	Publicly supported gay rights with single “Truth Will Set U Free”	Appeared on film wearing Arizona State cheerleader uniform; university threatened legal action
Trivia	Walkup song is ‘Until the Whole World Hears’ by Casting Crowns	Briefly considered for the role of Marty McFly in Back to the Future	Left home after a stack of pornographic pictures of her was left on her parents’ doorstep