Thing That Doesn’t Exist: A Vineyard Next to O.co Coliseum
It’s important, in this life, to recognize that certain things do, while other things don’t, exist. A thing that does exist, for example, is your in-laws. Just sitting there at home, they are, judging you for how your job is 90% just producing sophomoric Photoshop images for mindless internet consumption.
A thing that doesn’t exist, on the other hand, is a vineyard along the banks of San Leandro Creek, right beside the home ballpark of Major League Baseball’s Oakland Athletics.
Were such a thing to exist, however, the image below is an image of the sort of wine such a vineyard would likely produce. (Click to embiggen, naturally.)

Carson Cistulli has published a book of aphorisms called Spirited Ejaculations of a New Enthusiast.
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