There’s A Snatcherblot In My Catcherslot

Dr. Seuss presents…

There’s A Snatcherblot In My Catcherslot

Did you ever have the feeling there’s a Flitcher playing pitcher?
Or a Blortcrop playing shortstop?
Or a Groutpeeled in the outfield?
In certain sometimes cases there’s a Yasis stealing bases.
When I set my weekly lineup there’s a Grench stuck on my bench.
And that Flomer hit a homer! Eleven less than one Tripp Cromer.
There’s Moustakas in a fracas, and a Hamels with some camels.
And a Gee there by that tree. He’s been mostly nice to me.
And Nolasco, in a mask– no, Bobby Valentine I see.

My last saver was Joe Boever.
My last Blarza ate Matt Garza.
I saw four excited Spardja over there by Jeff Samardzija.
I am last in runs and ribbies.
‘Coz of all my Gluns and Glibbies.
If I only had a Trout my team could think of breaking out.
But since I only have a Freese, my team is off to rest in peace.

I think I’ve been reading too many children’s books.

Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.

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Anal Hershiser
8 years ago