The Feast of Grover Called Peter

Today, we pay homage to Grover Cleveland Alexander — and perform a spiritual exercise in his honor.

Life: Grover Cleveland Alexander — known as “Pete” for reasons that remain mysterious — pitched for 20 years in the majors, spending time with the Chicago, Philadelphia, and St. Louis of the National League. Six times in his first seven seasons Alexander led the league in innings pitches — and is, in fact, 10th all-time with 5190.0 IP. Despite a number of health problems — including (but not limited to) alcoholism, epilepsy, and combat-related stress — Alexander still managed to pitch 2672 IP with a 130 ERA+ after returning from World War I.

Spiritual Exercise: While the modern mind will instinctively characterize Alexander’s relationship with alcohol as a “drinking problem,” he (i.e. Alexander) proved to be durable and effective in ways that few pitchers have ever exhibited. Ask yourself, “What else do I view with a modern bias?” and “What else do I fail to consider in the context of its time?” If you have an extra moment, also consider what sounds more delcious this moment, beer or wine.

Prayer of Grover Called Peter

Grover Cleveland Alexander!
You’re famous for being
the first pitcher ever
to appear in a painting
by tiny Frenchman
Henri Toulouse-Lautrec,
whose work “Le Lanceur”
depicts you drinking gin
and discussing the invention
of the prank phone call
with a table of amused
and bearded intellectuals.

Critics debate to this day
whether it’s French or English
you’re speaking; however,
there’s little disagreement
on the number of pants
you appear to be wearing —
a quantity one might
best characterize
as “none whatsoever.”