I am a Cardinals fan. Our own Jack Moore is a Brewers fan. These are well and good facts and signifiers of a healthy Republic. Still, these allegiances have put us at cross purposes this season, despite the NotGraphs ties — sexy, buckled latex ties — that bind.
Generalissimo Cistulli is fond of calling Mr. Moore “America’s Kid Brother,” but of late I sense a darker side to Jackie Hazelnuts — a side that will be laid bare by the following exchange of Twitter Tweets. I present this unfortunate brannigan with a touch of formality that will call to mind either an Ionesco playscript or Atticus Finch cross-examination of titillating righteousness …
@daynperry Does anyone really doubt that the Brewers will win tonight?
@jh_moore Suck it, Perry. RT @daynperry: Does anyone really doubt that the Brewers will win tonight?
@daynperry @jh_moore I vaguely compliment your team’s hot streak, and that’s the thanks I get?
@jh_moore @daynperry Apparently.
@daynperry @jh_moore You just cost the Brewers the vastly more lucrative People’s Championship.
@jh_moore @daynperry I thought Nyjer Morgan did that a long time ago.
If you know nothing else about our traffic-contriving strategies here at NotGraphs, please know that a Call-to-Action Poll is forthcoming forthwith …