Sorry, Cowboy Joe

by Brandon Warne

October 12, 2011

In a bit of breaking news, we here at NotGraphs have been able to procure the video footage of Bud Selig breaking the news to Cowboy Joe West that his services would not be needed for the Championship Series’.

However, in the spirit of WCW pay-per-views from 1997, we’re only able to show you stills of the video. Sit back and enjoy.

: I wonder if it’s weird that I’m putting on my uniform to chat with Bud. Oh well.

: Hey Joe. I heard you want to chat. How can I help you?

: You’re just the guy I’m looking for. What’s my Championship Series assignment?

: Beg your pardon?

: WHAT IS MY CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES ASSIGNMENT?

: Sorry, didn’t hear you. You’re not on a crew, chief.

: Ahh! I see what you did there. So I’m a crew chief. ALCS or NLCS?

: Wait, I don’t think we see eye to eye here. You aren’t on a crew, Joe.

: What do you mean, Bud?

: It’s in the rule book here, Joe. You can’t work back-to-back series’. There’s nothing I can do.

: *sniffle* Was it about my performance? What was my rating in the division series?

: Oh jeez….probably a two-and-a-half?

: TWO-AND-A-HALF? You gotta be kidding me!

: Yeah, you’re right. That was a bit harsh. Five.

: FIVE? Are you still serious?

: Let’s be honest, I’m not going to give you a nine! (Selig’s note: I’m holding up nine fingers.)

: But what will I do with my time off, Bud?

: Uhh, I have no idea.

: But I’m counting on you, Bud! I’m counting on you here!

: THIS ISN’T MY PROBLEM, JOE.

: *takes uniform off* Screw it, guess I’m gonna go make a country album.

: I’m too old for this shit.

MLB Is Watching You

In addition to Rotographs, Warne writes about the Minnesota Twins for The Athletic and is a sportswriter for Sportradar U.S. in downtown Minneapolis. Follow him on Twitter @Brandon_Warne, or feel free to email him to do podcasts or for any old reason at brandon.r.warne@gmail-dot-com

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AK707

12 years ago

:slow clap:

0