Shorter Baseball Columnists!

It’s time for another installment of “Shorter Baseball Columnists,” in which we read mainstream baseball columnists and marginalized bloggers like Murray Chass so you don’t have to! Let us begin!

Shorter Bill Plaschke: You won’t believe how many metaphors I’ve come up with to express Frank McCourt’s unpopularity.

Shorter Mike Lupica: You might think this odd, but in the process of writing at length about the AL East, I’m going to mention the Mets and LeBron James more often than I mention the Rays.

Shorter Wallace Matthews: Nick Swisher hit a home run against the Cubs. Take that, White Sox.

Shorter Murray Chass: Omar Minaya was a good GM. I’m pretty sure his mistakes were Jeff Wilpon’s fault.

Shorter Bill Conlin: I think the Rays would do well to move to a city with one of the worst local economies in the world.

Shorter Dan Shaughnessy: Let’s see, where did I put my “Man of the People” britches?

The “Shorter” approach to Internetty commentary traces back, as best as one can tell, to Daniel Davies.