Rob Deer, Jedermensch, doesn’t “know this twitter thing.”

It is difficult to present the following observations about Rob Deer’s twitter account without coming off as glib or ironic or even snarky. However, because the author was once dubbed NotGraph’s Most Earnest Contributor (an award for which he is still awaiting the accompanying commemorative plaque), said author hopes that readers will take his word for it when he writes that all of the following observations served to rekindle and then deepen his appreciation for Rob Deer, ballplayer and human being. Additionally, the author hopes that the below observations have a similar effect on readers.

@Warrior1Yoga for real ! but I still don't know this twitter thing

— Rob Deer (@RobDeer45) April 16, 2014

Some Observations, Then, Mostly Regarding Rob Deer (@RobDeer45)’s Twitter Feed, of Which the Author Has Read the Entirety

• Rob Deer follows more people on Twitter than follow him, regarding which ratio the author has thought, One would be hard-pressed to find a former Major League Baseball player with as many homeruns as Rob Deer, who also has a Twitter account, who also has fewer followers than Rob Deer, about which thought the author then thought, This is completely unacceptable.

 

• Rob Deer also has more career BB (575) than Twitter followers, about which fact the author would like to ask: When, oh when, will this change, people?!

 

• By the time Rob Deer was the author’s age (33), his professional playing career was all but done, save for a brief age-36 come-back attempt that saw him log more strikeouts than hits and walks combined, yet still post a .368 wOBA and 0.6 WAR in just 64 PAs. The author can only hope for a similar resurgence — if brief and largely unnoticed — perhaps in which he returns to NotGraphs after several years’ absence to make a small number of hilarious and/or moving posts.

 

• In his tweets, Rob Deer is prone to placing a space before non-period terminal punctuation. The author, who is normally annoyed by such egregious lack of attention to typographical details, could in this case only shake his head, smile, and think, Oh you dear, dear Rob Deer.

 

• Rob Deer’s instructional hitting camps will be conducted “in the Wisconsin area” for the possible convenience of a yet-to-be-determined number of people.

 

• Sometimes, in his tweets, Rob Deer will also place a space before periods and non-terminal punctuation, too.

 

• Until the age of eight or so, the author believed that he was named after Rob Deer, penning stories that took the form of transcripts of radio broadcast of Milwaukee Brewers games. These stories, in which Rob Deer was heavily featured, included metafictional notes about how the author (both of this blog posting and said stories) was named after Rob Deer.

 

• Rob Deer is not unaware of his own mortality, and not without a sense of humor about said.

 

• Rob Deer knows he is not perfect, and is still willing to try new things.