Results: Mustachioed vs. Clean-Shaven Players of 1985 Topps by Carson Cistulli September 5, 2013 Click to embiggen. Since its inception in 1973 in a small alpine laboratory built by ice-cold power broker/mindfulness-studies instructor David Appelman, NotGraphs has been a byword for rock-hard science; its various contributors, all of them, each respectively bywords for rock-hard scientists. For granted, is how the reader takes this. It’s entirely within the purview of this site’s ongoing commitment to rigorous inquiry, then, that the present author publishes his findings here from an experiment conducted by the author last night with his friend Tom concerning Tom’s 1985 Topps set in his dumb living room — an experiment, namely, regarding the ratio of mustachioed to clean-shaven players depicted on the front parts of the cards in that same set. While tempted to write that the results will shock the reader, the author actually has chosen not to write that — mostly because the entirety of those results is summarized in the image above. “Nearly the same” is the answer. “What’s the approximate ratio of mustachioed to clean-shaven players in a set of 1985 Topps?” is the question. In conclusion, we ask Julio Franco and John Candelaria if they’ve been adequately amused. It appears, yes, Julio Franco and John Candelaria have been adequately amused.