Report: All Michael Young Jokes Have Been Made

SAN FRANCISCO — A joint research project conducted by the Society for American Baseball Research (SABR) and Twitter, Inc. has concluded that there are no more original jokes to be made about Los Angeles Dodger Michael Young.

“Twitter is not only a fast, easy way to share ideas with one another,” said Lauren Fraser, a sports partnerships liaison for Twitter. “It’s a great tool for measuring and quantizing what certain communities are talking about. And the baseball community loves making jokes about Michael Young.”

The research project, which began in 2011, was put on hold for a spell during the 2013 season, a short time after Young was signed by the Philadelphia Phillies.

“After the Phillies signed Michael Young, jokes about him seemed to die down,” said SABR’s Executive Director, Marc Appleman. “We contemplated putting the project on the shelf, as it seemed we were going to fall short of witnessing every Michael Young joke being made. Then, he cleared waivers, and we saw an uptick. After that, he was traded to the Dodgers, and we started monitoring closely again.”

The tweet that completed the nearly-two year inquiry came from Twitter user @DodgerzGM, a parody account based loosely around Dodgers General Manager Ned Colletti. It stated “Yasiel Puig removed in the 6th inning so he can sit in the dugout next to Michael Young.”

“We had seen some Michael Young/Yasiel Puig jokes, but never one about them sitting together on the bench,” said Fraser. ” Young getting traded to the Dodgers made that happen. It’s a very exciting time for us.”

Fraser and Appleman said they plan to use this research in an upcoming presentation for the yearly SABR convention. They are looking to project a scroll of every Michael Young joke made on Twiiter, that will play the entire duration of the event. As a result, the next SABR convention will be extended to last four and half months. Details are still being negotiated.