Randy Wolf Will Not Be Writing For NotGraphs: The E-mails Revealed
Hi Randy,
How’s it going? Remember that contract you signed? The one that offered you a chance to write for NotGraphs and said that we’d try you out this spring and if we liked your stuff, we’d give you a million dollars? Guess what? We like your stuff! Welcome to the team. Just give me a call about some details. Thanks.
Best,
Jack Z., guest editor, NotGraphs
Jack,
Terrific! Excited to share everything I know about bat flips and mustaches. I’m a little tied up with the pitching, so if you could just let me know the details over e-mail, that would be great.
Thanks,
Randy
Randy,
Oh, it’s nothing really. We just wanted to have you sign some stuff. We call it a 45 day waiver, it’s really no big deal.
Love,
Jack
Jack,
What would I be waiving?
Sincerely,
Randy
Randy,
Just your salary.
Kisses,
Jack
Sorry, on a plane, the quick version of the 45 day waiver, how it works and how teams manipulate players with it. pic.twitter.com/LV6Qf7fuWI
— CJ Nitkowski (@CJNitkowski) March 25, 2014
Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.