Pedro Martinez Country Music Album

Because the waking life holds nothing for me, I took an afternoon nap recently. Within the gauzy bounds of that nap, I learned that Pedro Martinez, baseball merchant of the sublime, had recorded and released a country music album. I purchased and downloaded it but — in keeping with the general state of shit — I woke up before I could listen to it.

I was so struck by this dream that I hinted at it to the world …

Pedro Martinez Country Music Album.

— Dayn Perry (@daynperry) November 2, 2013

This was at once a statement of fact, the first entry on a list of demands and — like all forms of communication — a distress signal. As badly as I wanted Pedro Martinez Country Music Album to exist, I might as well wish for an electric sandwich.

Things as they are, I am left with nothing but remnants in the foul-smelling penumbrae of my imagination …

In Donald Barthelme’s “How I Write My Songs,” whomp-whomp is a refrain, and so the title of one track on Pedro Martinez Country Music Album will be “Whomp-Whomp,” which could be a thinly veiled song about coitus — suggestive yet necessary, like a bra. “Got Damn, Woman” will be another track, honky-tonkish in execution. “Funeral for a Mockingbird” is yet another, acoustic until Pedro himself drifts in with the pedal steel in the second verse. “Angina in Carolina” is his hymn to long-haul truckers. During production, Pedro used accomplished Nashville session players, I feel sure.

I know little else about Pedro Martinez Country Music Album. It visited me in a dream, is all.