‘Tis the season for resolutions, so let’s perceive of ourselves as better people for just a second. No worries about the sex of the title, these will work for fans of any gender. As you’ll see, these resolutions represent a two-pronged approach to this whole betterment thing. A little for the body, a little for the heart, and a little for the mind.

* I resolve to run more often … so that I can eat and drink as poorly as I want at the game.

* I resolve to put down my computer, phone and book so that I pay complete attention … to the game.

* I resolve to be more thrifty and spend less, perhaps by brewing more of my beer at home … so that I can afford to go to more games.

* I resolve to read more and fully research everything … that could make be a better fantasy player.

* I resolve to tell the people I love that I love them more often … so they don’t mind when I ask for the television for the game later.

* I resolve to learn something new … about baseball.

* I resolve to help others … dominate fantasy leagues I’m not in.

* I resolve to get organized … gotta get all those baseball cards in the right order.

* I resolve to spend as much time as possible with my son (due in early April) … and, of course, put the ball in his left hand as much as possible. Even LOOGYs get paid.

This Marquis May Well Be More Beneficial to the Twins in 2012.

For a brief stretch, it appeared that someone else might have the most ‘Twins’ offseason this year rather than, well the Twins.

Much like offseasons before, the Twins let its veterans walk via free agency, permitting them to sign deals that are considerably above Terry Ryan’s insanity threshold. Remember the Torii Hunter deal?

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It’s been a long December, but there’s reason to believe maybe this year will be better than the last, and that reason is Bryce Harper’s new puppy #Swag.

Got a chocolate lab puppy for Christmas!!!!! 🙂 named him SWAG!

— Bryce Harper (@BHarper3407) December 25, 2011

Hi Swag!:

Hi again Swag!!:

Let us now celebrate this momentous occasion with the adding of chocolate to milk.

A few weeks ago, the venerable Prof. Cyril Morong executed a rather interesting projection for Albert Pujols, comparing similar and even dissimilar players to Pujols to get a feel for how well he would perform at and beyond the age of 35.

In short, the Angels look like they need either majorly bumped revenue or a World Series ring collection in order for the projected Pujols to be worth his contract.

Sure, science may say that, but what about dated video games?

Well, let’s turn to Baseball Mogul 2008, the addicting baseball simulation game that feels dangerously close to spreadsheet management. Why not a newer version of the game, such as Baseball Mogul 2012? Well, what’s the fun in that?
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You’re going to want to embiggen. Actually, click here.

While there are plenty of brilliant outcomes to choose from, my favorite one is: “Why?”

I feel you, Orioles fans. I do. But, as the flowchart accurately points out, at least you’ve got a fabulous ballpark.

A tip of the cap — a brand new Orioles one — to the Tumblr account of Billy, 22, from Virginia, which he’s named, “You Will Always Be A Loser.” Billy’s a true Orioles fan, no doubt.

Upon hearing the news that Jeff Luhnow, the new General Manager of the Houston Astros, reads Baseball Prospectus and The Book and that 2. Keith Law recently interviewed for a position in the Astros front office, I have found a deeply repressed wellspring of optimism. Does this optimism derive from a single player on the Astros team or in their farm system? No. Does it derive from the fact that the Astros will, after next year, be battling in the more difficult American League, as well as playing in the same division as Albert Pujols (again)? No. Does it derive from an unapologetic personal bias towards executives who understand WAR? Yes, it does. That optimism has, for me, painted a picture of the future. This is what that picture looks like:

“New” uniforms

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While those disinclined to ponder the inevitable see the 31st of December as the precipice of a new year — a date rich with the illusion of possibility — those devoted to base and ball will know it as the “Day of Crap.”

Why, you may ask, are those poo-festooned hours festooned with poo? Because 12/31/11 marks not the death in hospice of another year but rather the point at which we are equally distant from having seen baseball and seeing baseball again.

You see, the last out of the most recent World Series — God’s favorite World Series — occurred on October 28, 2011. Actual baseball won’t occur until February 29, 2012, when the Phillies renew hostilities with their august rivals Florida State. That comes to 124 days without that which helps us through the night. Advising us the diseased to find any port in a storm is useful only when there’s a port in view. Tomorrow, there shall be no port in view.

At the moment of Camus’s death by French sports car, he was likely plagued (see what I did there?) by thoughts of Algerian colonialism. Tomorrow shall be 24 hours of that moment.

NotGraphs’ Highly Reputable and Totally Real Think Tank has personally informed me know that as 2011 ends, so too does our first full calendar year on the immaculate Internet. We had fun this year. We hope you did, too.

Thanks for reading NotGraphs in 2011, and I wish you and yours a most prosperous new year. Here’s to 2012. As Roy Halladay once oh-so-eloquently put it: “It’s only gonna get funner.”

Oh yeah: 2011, you’re gone!

On Friday March 4, 2011, shortly after 6:30 p.m. Eastern Standard Time, reader Matt. D. sent us a whited-out picture of Joe West, along with the words, “if you have some time, have some fun!” We had time. We definitely had fun. Today, Joe West is at home in the NotGraphs logo. Personally, I like to think that Joe West — and Dick Allen — own honorary NotGraphs degrees. (Even though we don’t award honorary degrees. That’s how exclusive they are.) Anyway, thank you, Matt. May your light shine brightest in 2012. And, on a somewhat related note, the original 2011 image up there comes to you via PSD Graphics and Development Horizons. Both of them. A real team effort. Thank you, too.

It is well known that the Yankees, proconsuls to all that is gnarled and dark, exist primarily not to play base and ball but rather to comfort the comfortable and afflict the afflicted. As though we needed proof beyond what horse-sense confides, here’s a particularly damning GIF. Click and be appalled!

Little explanation is needed, but that’s a young fellow in a Yankee cap at the funeral of the late Dear Leader Kim Jong-il, who was coconuts. Kim was, of course, a vicious despot, so it should come as no surprise that the young man in the cap was a sanctioned emissary dispatched by the Yankee front office in order to ensure a post-transition diplomatic relationship with DPRK!*

Patriots awake!

(Secret handshake of the resistance movement: UniWatch)

^{* Not true, but still …}