Among the many losses endured by the Boston Red Sox this offseason, none was so loudly mourned as that of Heidi Watney, NESN’s erstwhile and comely foul-territory reporter. However, as the Internetting Gentleman with the Web-enabled computer may already know, Ms. Watney now has a replacement. Please meet Ms. Jenny Dell. Click to make the image more turgid, swollen, erect, dilated, and puffy:

Just how much of a bawdy minx is Ms. Dell? Well, contrary to appearances, that’s not a Halloween party pictured above; that’s her uncle’s wake. So consider her your clubhouse leader for the 2012 ESPY for “Best Journalism Cans.”

As always and forever, though, make mine Julia Ormond.

As I was unafraid to note at the main site today, Detroit Tiger Andy Dirks and all the other Leones of Escogido will represent the Dominican in the upcoming Caribbean Series in Santo Domingo.

The abovely embedded is the aforementioned gringo Dirks ganador-ing the hell out of the game on behalf of Escogido. Because my Spanish is poor, I can’t relate precisely what the commentator is saying — although, I’m pretty sure it includes five Our Fathers and a Hail Mary.

Skip to the 3:07 mark or thereabouts for a replay of Dirks’ heroics and reaction to same. The tingle in your loins means it’s working.

A cursory look into Bob Anderson and his wikipedia page last week uncovered one of the wackiest plays in baseball history. Of course, it made sense to diagram it.

Read the rest of this entry »

In which photos of the base-balling Reuschel brothers, Rick and Paul, are paired with befitting movie titles …

Among the things that are always funny — along with taking your pants off at an area H&R Block location and then, later that same day, taking your pants off again at an area Jackson Hewitt location — is when somebody asks the Atlanta Journal Constitution’s David O’Brien about the Braves bench but misspells the word shot and then David O’Brien answers the question anyway and then a blogger notices it and takes a screen cap of it and writes a post all about it and then cries because his life is just a husk of a life.

File this one under “Songs, Breakup.”  Keep your chin up Milwaukee.

Once upon I time, in these very pages, I posted an RBI Baseball recreation of Game 6 of the 1986 World Series. This would be a very Internetty occasion to link back to that post, but I don’t feel like searching for it. Apropos of this, this way comes an electric rendering of the famous home run by Kirk Gibson, one of our most hilarious MVPs, in Game 1 of the 1988 World Series.

What follows is a thing that delights. What follows is a Thing That Contains Multitudes:

The highlight, you may have noticed, is not the home run itself, but rather what occurs at 8:16, when Gibson, in the words of Vin Scully, makes his leg “quiver like a horse trying to get rid of a troublesome fly.”

The simile, it inspires …

Adam Dunn was at SoxFest over the weekend, talking about his disaster of a 2011 season:

“I thought I’d be able to go back home [in the offseason] and blow it off and forget about it.”

Source: ESPN

Now, he admits he couldn’t quite forget about it, and he’s been hitting in an indoor cage, and ESPN reports “he may have dropped a few pounds, but nothing too significant.”

Is this a little less anguish than someone who hit .159 should be experiencing? He went 6-for-94 against lefties. That’s only 6 more hits than I could have in 94 at-bats against lefties. If I was Adam Dunn, maybe I would have spent my offseason trying to figure out how my year went so terribly wrong– do some research, watch some video, see some doctors, talk to a therapist, I don’t know. And maybe he did all of that, but, “I thought I’d be able to go back home and blow it off and forget about it” ??? That struck me as a slightly bizarre comment. Crap, I just had a season that may well indicate the end of my time as a productive baseball player, with really no indication in the statistical line that this was a fluke. But, eh, I thought I’d just try and forget about it.

Inside Adam Dunn’s head sounds like a very peaceful place to be.

In which photos of the base-balling Reuschel brothers, Rick and Paul, are paired with befitting movie titles …

These are they — i.e. the eight people you meet at TwinsFest.

Just keeping everyone informed.