Orioles Hire Brady Anderson, Usher in Sideburns Era

Last week, the Baltimore Orioles hired long time Oriole outfielder, one-time Oriole home-run phenom Brady Anderson to a Special Assistant role with the club. Outside of bringing the wisdom surprise 50 home run seasons to the Orioles front office, Anderson also brings the majesty of 90s sideburns.

Here is a memo Anderson sent out this morning to every Orioles player and front office staff member:

Let us now imagine what the 2012 Orioles roster will look like once this new iron fist of velcro cheeks has his druthers.

Matt Wieters:

Adam Jones:

A big Texan:

We hoped you liked reading Orioles Hire Brady Anderson, Usher in Sideburns Era by Bradley Woodrum!

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Bradley writes for FanGraphs and The Hardball Times. Follow him on Twitter @BradleyWoodrum.

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about damn time!