Oh No, Lenny

It’s becoming increasingly clear that Lenny Dykstra quite simply does not have (and possibly never has had) control over his actions. He is a degenerate sociopath with a history of compulsive behavior. In other words, he lacks any shred of a moral compass.

As I noted back in June when the news broke that in addition to his outstanding federal bankruptcy fraud charges Dykstra would face 25 new charges in Los Angeles, including grand theft auto, identity theft, and possession of a controlled substance, despite my childhood admiration of him, Nails’s slew of legal troubles has not been hard for me to take. Quoth I:

…Dykstra’s long, sad descent into ignominy has not shattered my world in any way. I know what sociopathy and degeneracy are now, and while I understand that we are presumed innocent until proven guilty in this country, I recognize that both labels could aptly be applied to Lenny. But for anyone who, like me, became a fan in 1993 and looked up to Dykstra and has been affected by this news, try to look on the bright side. Yes, he’s being charged on 23 felony counts, but think of all the things he isn’t being charged with: assault with a deadly weapon; murder; child molestation; torture; planning, initiating, and waging wars of aggression; crimes against humanity; and so much more.

Well, today we can scratch off another despicable offense from the list of things he hasn’t been charged with. The Chicago Tribune reports on the latest sleazy charge:

LOS ANGELES — Former New York Mets and Philadelphia Phillies outfielder Lenny Dykstra has been charged in Los Angeles for allegedly exposing himself to women he met on Craigslist.

The city attorney’s office said Thursday the 48-year-old former baseball star could face up to six months in jail and a $1,000 fine for each indecent exposure count.

Dykstra is accused of finding victims by placing online ads seeking personal assistants or housekeepers. He allegedly exposed himself to women who responded to the ads on several occasions between 2009 and 2011.

Dykstra’s fierce competitiveness made him a joy to watch on the baseball field. We can also see now that this competitiveness was at least partly a byproduct of his personality disorder. Now, what we are learning is that even years after his retirement from baseball, Dykstra’s competitive spirit endures. He has apparently made it his mission to be charged with more illegal things in a calendar year than anyone in history.

Prison (and I think at this point we can safely assume that he will be spending some time there) promises to be interesting for Nails. Will he become a shrewd mover and shaker who controls the trade in cigarettes, cell phones, and other black market goods? His skillset would certainly seem to predispose him to following this path. Or will he experience a religious awakening and repudiate his past sins? The joint can do this to a lot of hardened criminals.

Discuss odds below.