New Hats For Alex Torres
Alex Torres– who I should have protected on my Scoresheet team!– over the weekend became the first pitcher to wear a padded, protective, giant, silly-looking hat on the mound. Hats off to Torres– or, I guess, hats on to him– for not wanting to get injured by a comebacker. Really, the part of me not trying to wring a NotGraphs post from this is 100% behind the hat, players should absolutely try to avoid being seriously injured by stuff, however clunky the hat looks.
Ah, but the part of me that is trying to wring a NotGraphs post from this thought it would make sense to search the Internet a bit for some alternative hats that Torres might consider wearing his next time on the mound.
Presenting: New Hats for Alex Torres
Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.
Right, because the guy trying to prevent a potentially lethal-head injury should be photoshopped into a dress.
I love jokes as much as the next guy, but this is really weak.
For you, I shall play a tiny violin.
Based on the third picture, we should be more concerned about poor Alex regenerating some arms. Tough to pitch without them.
Liar, I found this hilarious.
“Really, the part of me not trying to wring a NotGraphs post from this is 100% behind the hat, players should absolutely try to avoid being seriously injured by stuff, however clunky the hat looks.”
You’re right, lets stop discriminating – those who aren’t trying to prevent a potentially lethal-head injury should also be photoshopped into dresses.
Do you even Notgraphs, bro?
I do! But if you’re going to do something like this, you’ve got to make it funny.
Take the risk, deal with the consequences. Not funny, therefore, tasteless.
I guess you missed Mike Bates’ dick and balls two week ago?