Nate Silver’s Upcoming ESPN/Disney/ABC Projects

The New York Times reported on Friday that Nate Silver is leaving The New York Times to join the ESPN/Disney/ABC empire. He is expected to contribute to “Olbermann,” the new late-night ESPN2 talk show to be hosted by Chris Berman Keith Olbermann. But surely there will be more.

** Nate Silver Presents “30.172 for 30.465,” a more mathematically-accurate film series celebrating numerical moments in the history of sports, like the amazing technology that measures home run distances, or estimating how many pounds C.C. Sabathia weighs.

** ABC’s “Bet on Your Baby,” now featuring accurate spreads.

** Statman and Robin, a new animated superhero series voiced by Nate Silver and Robin Roberts. Statman will apprehend statistical criminals, like whoever was responsible for the Windows 8 advertisement featuring the nonsense ERA vs. Lefties stat.

** Disney’s Statistically Accurate Movie Remakes: Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, plus or minus Two Dwarfs; Three Pigs, Each 20% Littler than the Average Pig; One Hundred and Seventeen Era-Adjusted Dalmations; An Estimated 19,834 Leagues Under The Sea, Depending On The Tide; and 46% Chance of Snow Dogs.

** Kids in the National Spelling Bee will now be properly ranked. (Gosh, that’s been an oversight for years. How am I supposed to make my fantasy spelling league picks without having a sensible ranking system in place?)

** “The Statistical Wizards of Waverly Place,” coming to The Disney Channel.

** ESPN replaces March Madness with a National Burrito Tournament.