MLB Promotions Bonanza

zimbear

NotGraphs reader Zac Hinz wins a Most Valuable Correspondent award for sharing this amazing spreadsheet he created (Google Docs) compiling the upcoming season’s promotional giveaways for all 30 teams.

His thoughts, all well worth sharing (and slightly edited):

* Every team does the magnetic schedule, but Toronto notes that they give you it on exit. Bravo, Toronto, Bravo! I’ve gotten the magnetic schedule before (on entering), and it’s like, what am I supposed to do with this for 3 hours? Also those adorable Canadians list their September 29th giveaway as a toque.

* Every team is giving away an MLB Network backpack at some point in the season. It looks like teams collectively are giving away about half a million of them.

* Some teams do Mother’s Day promotions, and most of them limit the items to women. In fact, many of them seem to limit to only “moms.” I’d like to see how they plan to identify moms as opposed to childless women of appropriate age.

* Obviously tons of bobbleheads, but I was not aware of the garden gnome craze, with 8 teams giving away gnomes (including Dustin Ackley, Grant Balfour, Joe Maddon, Kerry Wood, Sergio Romo, Tim Lincecum, and Wade Miley).

* 5 different Fathead giveaways, but a “Prince Fielder Fathead” just seems cruel. (Ed. note: What is a fathead?)

* Also re: bobbleheads, you’ll notice Colorado giving away 9 “20th Anniversary Opening Day” bobbleheads. Colorado’s opening day lineup in 1993 was Eric Young, Alex Cole, Dante Bichette, Andres Galarraga, Charlie Hayes, Jerald Clark, Joe Girardi, Freddie Benavides, and pitcher Bryn Smith. Great. In non-human bobblehead news, we have David Price’s dog Astro; Josh Willing”hammer” (sic); Kansas City giving away the 3 members in their mascot race, Ketchup, Mustard, and Relish; Milwaukee giving the Polish Sausage its own bobblehead; and the Yankees have a Snoopy bobblehead.

* A ridiculous selection of headwear. Obviously caps, but also a beanie, a bearded hat, cowboy hats, fedoras, some sort of “Mike Trout Fish Hat”, floppy hats, knit hats, a sombrero, a sun hat, and the aforementioned toque (and its American cousin, the Cubs “Winter Hat”).

* Minnesota’s BBQ Spatula, for men only. You ladies are way too delicate to work a grill!

* LA Dodgers beach chairs? (Ed. note: seems like fun to have 50,000 people carrying beach chairs around a stadium.)

* If you play your cards right, you could get a Flower seed packet from the Yankees, Redwood Tree seedlings from the Athletics, and a Flower Pot to put them in from the Rays.

* Miscellaneous weird items: Tampa Bay’s “Moore Cowbell,” Philadelphia’s “John Kruk Action Figure,” The Cubs’ “American Girl Team Apparel,” Coco Crisp Cereal Bowl, Glen Perkins Fishing Lure, Chicago Cubs Texting Glove, Tom Wilhelmsen Train Engine, Stan Musial Harmonica, White Sox Puzzle Cube, Kansas City Pashmina Scarf.

Thanks, Zac, for the awesome post!





Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.

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Dan Rozenson
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Dan Rozenson

What the hell does a John Kruk action figure do? Cower in fear from Randy Johnson?

LTG
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LTG

eats ribs

KrukRibs
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KrukRibs

Now with real sweat!!!

AlexandertheMeh
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AlexandertheMeh

Now with real sweat!!!