Matt Stairs, Jamie Moyer Begin 10th Year of Announcing

Few baseball players can retire from baseball and immediately be a 10-year veteran of broadcasting, but that’s exactly what SP Jamie Moyer and “OF” Matt Stairs have done. Our hard-working visual analytics crew has broken down the pregame footage from today’s Toronto-Philadelphia game, and the signs are obvious: The Stairs and Moyer duo have been in the booth since 2004.

“But I distinctly recall seeing these guys play baseball after 2003,” you might say.

You might have dumb-brain. Here, take a look for yourself:

Those are not recently-retired pro athletes. Those are leisured gentlemen of the Booth. They meet all the criteria. Face lines, gray protein strands extruding from the head, an absence of protein strands in certain head areas, slouchy postures, world-weary gazes, tired and nuanced smiles — these are all the irrefutable scientific signs of a broadcasting veterancy.

This leads us to ask, of course, how many other broadcasters are secretly playing baseball? Well, at least one.