Jon Heyman’s Airline Tweets

As the Senior Baseball Reporter for Sports Illustrated, Jon Heyman spends a lot of time on airplanes chasing scoops and so forth. Jon Heyman is also a quite prolific Tweeter. For what should be obvious reasons, this is an unfortunate combination. If there is anything worse than airline complaints, it is Jon Heyman airline complaints.

See, it would be one thing if Jon Heyman were to express his (frequently unlettered) thoughts to close friends and family. So long as we don’t have to hear it, it is not a problem. But the trouble with Jon Heyman being on Twitter is that it is quite literally the only medium in existence through which he can instantly broadcast his airline aggravations to 100,000 people.

For example:

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And yesterday we were treated to this:

“Male stewardess.” Is that kind of like a male actress?

Or a male waitress?

Or a male princess?

Or a male congresswoman?

Or a male mistress?

Perhaps Heyman is making some sort of commentary on gendered language here. But frankly, he does not strike me as a devotee of feminist linguistics.

Flight attendants, Jon. They’re called flight attendants, you male nincompoopess.