Jeremy Blachman’s 10 Bold Predictions for 2013

Fun to read the real ones over at RotoGraphs.

1. Josh Hamilton will defy what seem to be everyone’s lowered expectations in Los Angeles by having an MVP season… and winning the Cy Young Award as well, after the Angels convert him to pitching and slot him into the rotation. Poor Jered Weaver. He didn’t think a bad spring would lead to losing his spot to an outfielder!

2. The Yankees win the division by going EVEN OLDER, with an April trade for left-handed reliever Darren Oliver, a May signing of 1B Eddie Murray, and the return of Bobby Richardson to second base after Robinson Cano opts to undergo season-ending breast augmentation surgery. New/old manager Yogi Berra leads them to their 28th World Series crown.

3. Mike Trout will be this year’s Mike Trout, going back in time to re-create his magical rookie season and give the Angels one more year of pre-arbitration eligibility.

4. Jeremy Hefner: National League Cy Young Award winner, and heir to the Playboy fortune.

5. Chris Davis, following his 2012 victory as a relief pitcher, will save more games this season than Wade Davis. Wade Davis will strike out more batters than the number of times Chris Davis strikes out. Ike Davis will hit more home runs than Wade Davis and Chris Davis combined. Rajai Davis will play more games than Doug Davis.

6. Josh Rutledge will be a top-50 shortstop.

7. Tim Lincecum will end the season with a higher ERA than he starts the season with. He will also end the year with more career strikeouts, more career walks, and fewer career wins, thanks to ongoing litigation about a handful of victories in 2011.

8. Jose Tabata outearns Travis Snider. In salary. Travis Snider, on the other hand, hits 38 home runs and comes in 4th in the NL MVP vote.

9. Chris Archer earns the most value of any Rays starter not named Price, Hellickson, Moore, Cobb, Niemann, Colome, Hernandez, Odorizzi, and Torres.

10. Manny Ramirez, finding success in Taiwan, returns to the major leagues as a starting outfielder for the Cubs. He hits 20 home runs in just over two months, and ends up with a $22 million contract to return next year as the regular DH for the Yankees.





Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.

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KB
11 years ago

Hey Jack, that’s absolutely true.