Introducing: FanGraphs-

As you probably already know, FanGraphs+ is back for 2013 and better than ever, with more than a thousand player capsules, special articles written by smart people, and fantasy advice adjusted for both standard and Ottoneu leagues. What you may not know is that FanGraphs is also rolling out another new product: FanGraphs-.

Like ERA-, FIP-, and SIERA-, FanGraphs- is league adjusted. What this means is that the thoughtful analysis and baseball news you crave has been adjusted for your own fantasy league, one in which you are doomed to continue your lifelong streak of disappointment and failure. Player capsules will carry helpful advice; however, that advice, being designed for you personally, will be tinged with regret and will serve to make you doubt yourself in every choice that you make. Here are a couple of examples:

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Matt Kemp

Outlook: Matt Kemp is one of the most talented players in baseball, a threat to hit forty home runs and steal forty bases in any season. Of course, that doesn’t matter because you’re never going to draft him. Why would you? That shoulder is made out of drywall screws and rubber cement by now, and there’s no better way to put your season in the tank by Memorial Day than to lose the guy you drafted in the first round. Besides, look at that .352 career BABIP. Sure, he’s been hitting like that his whole career, but what do we know about BABIP, anyway? It’s basically the baseball equivalent of alchemy.

The Quick Opinion: People probably won’t public deride you for drafting Matt Kemp. But there will be whisperings.

Adam LaRoche

Outlook: There is no ballplayer on record who has contracted the bubonic plague. It probably won’t happen, but it’s not proof that it’ll never happen. And there’s certainly no reason why it couldn’t be Adam LaRoche who finds his pocket full of posies. Keep in mind that LaRoche is a leader in the clubhouse, and is likely to try to cover up his disfiguring disease, to the point of wearing stage makeup and hiding his face behind an upturned collar. Probably best avoided.

The Quick Opinion: Even if you do decide to draft LaRoche, you’re just going to mess up and call him Andy.

Maikel Cleto

The Quick Opinion: Has never specifically denied being a card-carrying member of the American Communist Party.

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You can also look forward to projections based entirely on Marcel, as well as research articles penned by none other than FanGraphs’ resident expert, Hopeless Joe. Some of the upcoming pieces include:

When To Start Thinking about Next Year
Trading Tips: Don’t Bother, Everyone is Trying to Rip You Off Anyway
Utility Infielders Who Could See More Playing Time
Catch Up with Andy Marte
Tanking Categories: Why Stop At Just One?
Why Spring Training Stats Matter, and Why You Should Follow Them Closely
Learning From Your Mistakes: How Journal Writing Can Improve Introspection

Don’t wait! Order your copy today!