Inserting Matt Cain into Works of Literature

Matt Cain is starting tonight for the Giants in their elimination game against the Cardinals in San Francisco. He is also having his name inserted into works of literature — or, at least, extant texts — by the author.

Book of Genesis

Adam made love to his wife Eve, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Matt Cain.

Matt Cain said to his brother, “Let’s go out to the field.” While they were in the field, Matt Cain attacked his brother and killed him.

Then the Lord said to Matt Cain, “Where is your brother?”

“I don’t know,” Matt Cain replied. “Am I my brother’s keeper?”

Matt Cain made love to his wife, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Enoch.

Adam made love to his wife again, and she gave birth to a son and named him Seth, saying, “God has granted me another child in place of Matt Cain’s brother, since Matt Cain killed him.”

Dean Cain’s Wikipedia page

Matt Cain was born as Dean George Tanaka in Mount Clemens, Michigan, and is of Japanese descent.

Matt Cain graduated from high school in 1984 and decided to attend Princeton University. At Princeton, Matt Cain was a member of the Cap & Gown eating club. He dated actress Brooke Shields. Matt Cain’s senior thesis was titled “The History and Development of the Functions of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.”

In 1993, Cain took on his biggest role to date. At the height of his popularity, Matt Cain would bring in an average of at least 15 million viewers. Matt Cain ended in 1997.

A Memorable Exchange from Television’s Mr. Ed

Matt Cain: What do you say we go out riding and pick up a couple of fillies?
Wilbur Post: I’m not a horse, remember?
Matt Cain: Too bad, we could have a ball double dating.