Ideas for Your Bullpen

12 Jul 1980: Craig Swan (right) and coach Joe Pignatano tend their vegetable patch in the bullpen at Shea Stadium (Image by © Bettmann/Corbis)

With the Mets bullpen so putrid right now, the jokes are tempting — “I see a lot of hoes out there;” “For once they could just lettuce be surprised by a good performance;” “Can they grow a decent arm without illegal fertilizer?” or “They certainly got enough cabbage to be so terrible;” — but that’s just piling on. Instead, let’s use this as inspiration.

Your terrible bullpen could more usefully spend their time:
a) Home-brewing. They could produce an ale for what ails you.
b) Slow roasting. After a double-header, you could have those short ribs and forget about it all.
c) Running a Tumblr. Worst-case scenario, it’s full of attractive people in the crowd. Eh, probably the only case scenario.
d) Running a round-robin Settlers of Cataan tournament. As long as it’s not windy.
e) Competing in a seed-spitting contest. Aw crap, this is what they do every day anyway.

Two radishes and a well-placed carrot to MetsBlog for the picture.