When you talk about Carson Cistulli, what you’re talking about is a guy who knows how to first (a) watch a baseball game one night and then (b) make three GIFs from that game at some point during the following afternoon, with a view to justifying his existence on the company payroll.
In this case, what Carson Cistulli has done is to make three GIFs from Thursday night’s A’s-Yankees game (box), during which game Cuban emigre Yoenis Cespedes hit a home run that compelled veteran right-hander Freddy Garcia to discover physics again for the first time.
For the benefit of the reader, who is likely busy using large-bosomed women as barbells on the sandiest possible beaches of the Florida coastline, I have taken the liberty of organizing last night’s events in chronological order, clearly demarcating the order of those events with clarity.
Note: all GIFs are clickable, embiggenable.
This is of Yoenis Cespedes swinging at a Garcia curveball with what might be considered “abandon.”
This is of where the ball — the one at which Cespedes swung with abandon — this is to where it went in the Oakland Coliseum.
This is Freddy Garcia not actually minding that much about what just happened.
Carson Cistulli has published a book of aphorisms called Spirited Ejaculations of a New Enthusiast.