Hopeless Joe’s World Series Chat

Q: Hi Joe, with the Giants having home field advantage in the World Series, how will the Tigers pitchers fare when having to bat in San Francisco?

A: Terribly. And that’s if they even get a chance to come to the plate. With all of the line drives bouncing off their heads, who knows if the Tigers pitchers will even survive the whole week.

Q: What do you think of the umpiring crew?

A: I think each member is bound to make an incorrect call that will haunt him for the rest of his life.

Q: Who’s the best bet to get us the most tacos in Taco Bell’s “Steal a Base, Steal a Taco” promotion?

A: Hopefully no one, especially with the quality control these days on raw meat and whatever meat-like byproducts go into those things. More like “Steal a Base, Steal a Week in a Hospital.”

Q: What do you do after baseball season is over?

A: Cry more than usual.

Q: Based on ballparks, which team should win?

A: The Giants. I like the garlic fries.

Q: You do realize the World Series is over now, right?

A: What? Did I sleep through it again? Whatever, there’s not much of a reason to ever be awake. Let me know when Spring Training starts.

(Questions adapted from Joe Buck’s ESPN chat.)

Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.

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