Homer the Dragon’s Captive Embrace

While not as loin-stirring as, say, woodsy and mead- and pipeweed-fueled coitus with an elf, hugging a dragon would be quite nice, I think we can all agree. And if you were one of 5,615 fortunate souls recently meandering through a particular semi-major American city, you know this firsthand. And you helped Charlotte Knights mascot Homer the Dragon (pictured above, first from left) make Maximum History.

Indeed, Homer has approached, reached and overtaken the record for “Most Hugs by a Mascot Given in a 24-Hour Span,” which is a threshold as timeless and enduring as the trilobite fossils entombed deep within the bottommost sediment of the Yangtze. So bless his heart.

Sure, our dear, departed Gary Gygax might prefer the arms of dragons to be more murderous than loving, but Homer deserves your admiration for cutting a swath of unconditional affection through the boulevards of Charlotte. Know hope, citizens.