The reader will notice that, in what follows, I’ve employed two changes from past versions of this same stealing-type post. First, the phrase “notable quotable” has replaced “notable thing.” This is because (a) I’ve opted for more direct quotes in this edition and also (b) my grandparents gifted me Reader’s Digest for Christmas every year of my life from, like, age 6 to age 15.
Second, while the highlights of the 1993 and ’94 editions included only five notable things, this edition includes 10! Using math, we find that this post is five better than previous ones.
Player: Bobby Bonilla, New York (NL)
Notable Quotable: “Surrounded by good players, he’d look like a great player. Surrounded by New York Mets, he looks like a good New York Met.” Zen koan, that is.
Player: Robert Eenhoorn, New York (AL)
Notable Quotable: “Eenhoorn played in the Oolyympics in 1988, for the Netherlands…”
Player: Julio Franco, Chicago (AL)
Notable Quotable: “A tremendous hitter; a perennial over-achiever who doesn’t get credit for getting better and better because he’s Latin and doesn’t suck up to the press.”
Player: Marvin Freeman, Colorado
Notable Quotable: James, once again, uses the phrase “intimidating equipment” to describe Freeman.
Player: Chuck Knoblauch, Minnesota
Notable Quotable: “My favorite player.”
Player: Mike Lieberthal, Philadelphia
Notable Quotable: Listed as “Mark” for third consecutive year.
Player: Kenny Lofton, Cleveland
Notable Quotable: “If you don’t like Kenny Lofton, you just don’t like baseball.”
Player: Otis Nixon, Boston (pictured above, ascending into heaven)
Notable Quotable: “According to the media guide, he has a child named ‘Genesis.’ Do suppose that’s a boy or a girl?”
Player: Luis Raven, California
Notable Quotable: Listed as “Luis (Quoth The) Raven.”
Carson Cistulli has published a book of aphorisms called Spirited Ejaculations of a New Enthusiast.