GIF: Nick Swisher Reveals Absurdity of Human Predicament

There’s a certain sort of pain a ballplayer is compelled to endure as a result of striking out in a major-league game. There’s another sort of pain — a more immediate one, surely — which a ballplayer clearly is forced to tolerate on such an occasion as he’s hit by a pitched ball.

Moments ago, in the fifth inning of Cleveland’s game against Toronto, first baseman Nick Swisher was subjected to both kinds of pains simultaneously without any of the attendant benefits (i.e. taking a free base) typically associated with the latter.

In this poignant morality play, Toronto pitcher Drew Hutchison represents the menacing blitzkrieg of reality. Swisher represents the everyman, bombarded by hostilities. Cleveland, meanwhile, continues to represent Cleveland.

Carson Cistulli has published a book of aphorisms called Spirited Ejaculations of a New Enthusiast.

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9 years ago

Erick Aybar laughs at Swisher’s ineptitude. Taunting him with his own Kafkaesque dance with the HBP:

Because if you’re going to swing at a HBP, make it a dickshot(TM).