Frequently Asked Questions About Streaming Local Broadcasts

Major League Baseball Advanced Media CEO Bob Bowman told the Associated Press this week that some baseball fans may be able to stream local broadcasts to their desktops and mobile devices by as early as next season. LINK.

Q: Who?

A: Not you.

Q: Why not?

A: We don’t like you.

Q: But I’m a fan!

A: Not enough of a fan.

Q: What do you mean?

A: Real fans subscribe to cable.

Q: What does my subscription to an antiquated way to receive programming have to do with my love of America’s pastime?

A: It just does.

Q: So you’re saying I need to be a cable TV subscriber to stream these games?

A: Yes.

Q: But if I had cable, I could watch them already anyway.

A: Yes.

Q: So now people with cable…

A: Can turn off their TV and watch the game instead on their phone.

Q: Oh. Okay. And this will be done how exactly?

A: Maybe an app. Or magic. The app department and the magic department are both looking into it, and the first to come up with an answer will win.

Q: Do you mean an app like many cable networks have now, that requires you to enter a user name and password to verify your local cable service?

A: Sure, maybe, because those are airtight ways to restrict access.

Q: Suppose my friend has cable, and, like most people who still have cable, uses “password” as his account password, thus allowing me to log in pretending to be him?

A: Baseball fans shouldn’t pretend.

Q: Can you explain the current blackout policy in 50 words or less?

A: ….

Q: Can you explain how any system that restricts access through some sort of technological mechanism, password entry, or, really, pretty much anything except for a piece of hardware required for the service or physical object that is the content itself can possibly expect to stay ahead of the people who wish to gain access?

A: ….

Q: Remind me again what defines a real baseball fan?

A: Someone with a cable television subscription.

Q: And what would define a real fan of cable television?

A: Someone who has season tickets to their local baseball team.

Q: Gotcha, thanks.

A: That wasn’t a question.

Q: Sorry.