For Sale: Tiny, Dancing Ichiro

For Sale: Tiny, Dancing Ichiro

– Great for parties

– Housetrained (tiny toilet not included)

– May need to put towel over cage to get him to sleep

– A tiny, national treasure

– Eats Powerbars and cigarettes

Will accept all reasonable offers.

David G. Temple is the Managing Editor of TechGraphs and a contributor to FanGraphs, NotGraphs and The Hardball Times. He hosts the award-eligible podcast Stealing Home. Dayn Perry once called him a "Bible Made of Lasers." Follow him on Twitter @davidgtemple.

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I’ll trade you a gently used Blackberry Curve.