Feast of St. Pecota, Patron Saint of Forecasting
Today, we remember another three lives in our ongoing — and totally not futile — effort to canonize baseball’s worthy figures.
Regard:
Life: While useful enough as a player, posting a 7.8 WAR over 1729 plate appearances, Pecota has become most famous for lending his name to the eponymous projection system developed by Nate Silver and still hosted by a certain enemy website.
It should be noted, also, exactly how fitting it is that Pecota’s feast day falls in what is basically the middle of forecast season.
Prayer:
You inspired probably
one of the most famous
backronyms ever.
Also, now I just learned
what a backronym is.
Thanks, Billskis!
(Note: Other relevant honorifics are acceptable in place of “Billskis.” Use your discretion.)
Life: Is most famous — currently, at least — for siring two major leaguers, although was actually a not-terrible hitter in his own playing career, which spanned 17 years and included a couple of caliente seasons in the Mexican League.
Prayer:
Both of your sons play in the majors.
Also, so did your dad and brother do that.
You guys are like the royal family
of a kinda crappy nation.
Holler!
Life: Despite never being considered the toppest of prospects — and, in fact, not receiving any kind of real playing time until age 27 — Byrnes was actually a toolsy sort, averaging 20 homers and 24 stolen bases for every 650 plate appearances. Is/was also well known for giving maximum effort in way that made him singularly obnoxious.
Prayer:
It was difficult to dislike
the Oakland and Arizona teams
for which you played,
but the prolonged temper tantrum
known as your career
certainly helped.
Second Prayer (For Continued Revelry):
At its longest,
your hair maybe resembled Samson’s,
except instead of allowing you
to slay an entire opposing army
with only the jawbone of an ass,
the sort of attack
to which you were most prone
was of the spaz variety.
Image courtesy a certain enemy website.
Carson Cistulli has published a book of aphorisms called Spirited Ejaculations of a New Enthusiast.
As much as I hated Byrnes as a player, it was pretty hilarious when he spent that ASG paddling around McCovey Cove in a canoe with his dog.
He might be the sort that’s easier to like after the fact — because, really, with a couple exceptions, it’s hard to dislike a player for trying really hard.
But, man, when he collied with Jason Varitek at — and then neglected to tag — home plate in the ALDS in 2003, I derived some monster joy from that. Particularly BECAUSE it was Byrnes.