Feast of St. Daubach the Hirsute by Carson Cistulli February 11, 2011 “It’s five o’clock somewhere,” announces Brian Daubach’s facial hair. If the reader has somehow found him- or herself under the impression that I would halt these awkward attempts to combine baseball with the feast-day tradition of Orthodox Christianity, then the reader is tragically mistaken. Today we celebrate three lives, as follow. Brian Daubach the Hirsute Every league is a beer league to you, oh Brian Daubach! Hear our prayer! *** Ben Oglivie the Anonymous You hit 41 home runs with Milwaukee in 1980, and yet studies show that even you have never heard of yourself. Whatever the opposite of hype is, don’t believe it! *** Jimmy Ryan, Patron Saint of Fisticuffs You’re one of the few players in history to punch reporters on two separate occasions — which is only once more than the number of times you punched a train conductor. Regardez, everyone: it is 19th-century man!