Everything You, As A Baseball Fan, Need To Know About Top Stories In the News


Ebola: No baseball player has yet been diagnosed with Ebola. There are no reported cases of Ebola at major or minor league ballparks. Checking your fantasy stats cannot give you Ebola, nor can participating in your fantasy baseball auction, assuming the auction is online. Ebola is not the cause of your favorite team’s poor season, or the reason why more moves weren’t made at the trading deadline. There is no correlation between OPS+ and Ebola, and the E in Ebola does not stand for Error. Alex Rodriguez is suspended from baseball, but not because he has Ebola.

Iraq: There is no major or minor league baseball affiliate in Iraq. Contrary to rumor, the Expos did not move there when they left Canada. IRAQ is not the same as WHIP. You have a very low chance of being hit by a missile while you watch a baseball game, whether in person or on TV. We are not at war with the American League, nor the National League. Our military activities in Iraq should not affect your fantasy team.

Gaza: Sam Fuld is Jewish.

Robin Williams: Robin Williams is not related to Ted Williams, Mitch Williams, Bernie Williams, Mike Williams, Gerald Williams, Billy Williams, Dick Williams, Jerome Williams, Jimy Williams, Matt Williams, Woody Williams, Scott Williamson, Robin Ventura, Robin Roberts, or Robin Yount.

Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.

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Padres #KeepNotGraphs Guy
9 years ago

There have also been no reported cases of wOBA at Petco this year.

9 years ago

I thought that Seth Smith had a pretty severe case of wOBA this year?