On the one hand, the equation that is the title of this post doesn’t really make sense. On the other hand, the author — owing to a lack of training in what many have taken to calling “physics” — doesn’t know that.
What the author does know is what side his bread is buttered on. And he also knows that, in addition to eating buttered bread, he likes to watch PYT Mike Stanton jack the hell out of some dongers — which, that’s precisely what Stanton did in the first and third innings, respectively, of Monday night’s contest between the Braves and Marlins.
The first homer, embedded above, is the sort that would be, in the parlance of a fictional Cleveland Indian fan, “too high” — if it weren’t also “too far,” that is. The second homer (below), while lacking the sheer loft of Stanton’s first, in fact traveled over 50 feet further than its predecessor.
You can watch both homers here, if you have time in your busy schedule. If you have even more time after that, you might consider writing the Great American Novel, with Mike Stanton as the protagonist.
Carson Cistulli has published a book of aphorisms called Spirited Ejaculations of a New Enthusiast.