Daily Dotes for March 19

Table of Contents

Here’s the table of contents for today’s edition of Daily Dotes.

1. “Dote” Defined
2. Santorum takes his cuts.
3. Garfoosian Wisdom

“Dote” Defined

As per the Oxford English Dictionary (“The definitive record of the English language”):

dote, n.1

1. A foolish or weak-minded person; a dotard. Obs.

2. A state of stupor; dotage. Obs.

3. A piece of folly. Obs.

4. Decay in wood.

Or,

dote | doat, v.1

1. To be silly, deranged, or out of one’s wits; to act or talk foolishly or stupidly.

. . .

3. To be infatuatedly fond of; to bestow excessive love or fondness on or upon; to be foolishly in love.

Using these (mostly) obsolete definitions of “dote”, I shall regularly post under this title.

Rick Santorum takes his cuts.

Replican presidential hopeful Rick Santorum recently took batting practice with LSU’s baseball team and is reportedly now an NCAA hopeful, too. Let’s scout:

Santorum showed up unprepared for camp with a case of what scouts call “bubble butt.” His attempt to mask said in pleated(!) khakis was ill-conceived, as they seemed to restrict his swing, though it may be more than just his pants as there are reports that he moves “as with a tight keister.” As a result, he’s a well below-average runner. His swing is wild and loose and he drops his shoulder, resulting in lots of fly balls without much power. He’s trying to crack the team as a P/SS, but given his dumpy bottoms and a “natural feel” for the position, his best chance lies in a full conversion to catcher.

Hit: 30
Power: 20
Run: 20
Hose: 50
Field:30
Shit: 80

Garfoosian Wisdom

Author, pitcher, and tweeter extraordinaire Dirk Hayhurst “received an email from a college pitcher the other day. He was recovering from surgery, unsure if things were going to work out in favor of triumphant on field return. Understandably, this had shaken him. He felt he would be robbed of a life long dream, especially since he felt he had more to give the game.”

The Garfoose’s response was sympathetic but honest, and should be equally useful to players at the top of their games and to fanatics who have had their hearts broken. Dig:

We play [baseball] thinking it will give us happiness eternal and value never ending, as if it was some omniscient force that rewards our dedication to it. But a game doesn’t do that. It cant.[sic] WE do that. WE project the impossible value and meaning into dreams, and when they are cut short, WE are the ones who convince ourselves that we are cut short as well.

Such existential awareness is always refreshing to witness, especially when it’s balanced by dedication and passion in the face of the acknowledged meaninglessness.