Culprit Named in Accidental McCutchen Beaning

PITTSBURGH — The teammate who distracted Andrew McCutchen during batting practice Monday, causing the star outfielder to be hit in the face by a ground ball, has been identified by sources as injured catcher Michael McKenry. One Pirate, who asked to remain nameless, referred to McKenry as “that insufferable attention whore” and said “He does his stupid little song and dance out there all the time during BP…it was only a matter of time before someone paid the price.”

McKenry, who has been out since his knee surgery in July, is well known among players and fans for his colorful leotards, elaborately coiffed hair, and choreographed routines. Another team source described the catcher’s antics as “disruptive,” while a third claimed that he “was never really hurt at all…he wants to entertain, not play baseball. I don’t even know what he’s doing in a uniform, to be honest.”

McCutchen has been cleared to play in tonight’s Wild Card game, and he and McKenry seem to have buried the hatchet. The center fielder, who is seen as a strong contender for this year’s National League MVP award, took to Twitter to clear the air. A tweet Tuesday morning from his @TheCUTCH22 account read: “Feel dumb for getting hit but when @MagicMike19 is doin his thing its hard not to watch…boy’s got talent!! #22forTutus” @MagicMike19 is believed to be McKenry’s Twitter handle, although that was unconfirmed as of this article’s writing.