Cliff Lee Refreshes MLBTradeRumors


Cliff Lee refreshes MLBTradeRumors. Nothing doing. His nephews told him this was the place to find any and all trade rumors. But it is not the place to find Cliff Lee trade rumors.

He types his name into the search bar. The corner of his mouth curls when he sees words like “available,” “movable,” and “in flux.” He scrolls down some more. Bad news. “High salary,” “requesting huge return,” and “very little chance.”

Why do they keep writing my God damned age?

He opens another window. phillies should trade cliff lee. The results are all over the place.

The Dodgers? Oh man. Nice weather. Good team. That would be cool.

Boston? I could play in Boston. I wouldn’t have to hit. They just won a World Series. I want to win a World Series. That would be cool too.

His eyes hurt. He should go to bed. His dog sighs from the floor of the adjacent room. He echoes it. He continues clicking and scrolling.

Lee would have to waive his no trade clause to be moved.

He picks up his phone and sends a text to his agent.

i told you that id waive my no trade right?

Is he up? Probably not.

He refreshes MLBTradeRumors again. Nothing new. His phone vibrates. A text from his agent.


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David G. Temple is the Managing Editor of TechGraphs and a contributor to FanGraphs, NotGraphs and The Hardball Times. He hosts the award-eligible podcast Stealing Home. Dayn Perry once called him a "Bible Made of Lasers." Follow him on Twitter @davidgtemple.

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Cliff Lee
Cliff Lee

Cliff Lee takes no jokes.