Charlie Hough Does What He Pleases

Charlie Hough does what he pleases, people.

If Charlie Hough were a dandy fop, he would keep handy a dainty kerchief at all times, with which to wipe his brow or nose with victorian decorum. Charlie Hough does no such thing, puritan!

If Charlie Hough was a scruple-riddled altruist — like the author’s father, who spurned the even Greatest Game on Earth because he couldn’t help but sympathize with the losing teams — he would perhaps not make his competitors look so silly. But Charlie Hough, a glorious philistine unfettered by guilt, shames his opponents with impossible flutterballs!

Were Charlie Hough concerned with social norms, he might sacrifice the comfort of his jewelish junk while (presumably) tens of thousands of eyes are on him. But Charlie Hough wants his junk to sit pretty, no matter who’s watching, and so…