Champ Kind’s NL MVP Ballot

As Rob Biertempfel of the Pittsburgh Tribune did earlier today, a number of sportswriters have — in the interest of full disclosure — released their ballots for the various end-of-season awards.

As part of their intrepid work, our Investigative Reporting Investigation Team has acquired fictional sportscaster Champ Kind’s ballot for the 2011 National League MVP award, the winner of which will be announced at 2 p.m. today (Tuesday).

“How did you come across the ballot of a fictional person?” perhaps the reader is asking, while perhaps adding: “What this seems like is merely a hollow attempt to attract page views by associating content with a film/character that kills in the age 18-34 demographic.” To which I reply: “Shut your face, reader that I made up who seems to have an unnatural understanding of my worst fears.”

Now, with that out of the way, here’s how Kind voted: 1. Steve Garvey / 2. Steve Garvey / 3. Steve Garvey / 4. Rod Stewart’s Unbridled Libido / 5. Erotic Fondue / 6. Steve Garvey / 7. Steve Garvey / 8. Musk, the scent / 9. Steve Garvey / 10. Ryan Braun

Carson Cistulli has published a book of aphorisms called Spirited Ejaculations of a New Enthusiast.

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11 years ago

Needs more Gene Tenace.

11 years ago
Reply to  glassSheets

And perhaps a Merlin Olson.

11 years ago
Reply to  glassSheets

“As in Gene Tenace at the plate, and WHAMMY!!!”