Social-media experts agree: Nothing builds the brand quite like awkward rap. This lesson is not lost on the folks at NESN. Indeed, the Masshole Mothership has, presumably with sanction and advance planning, released this felonious assault against Hip Hop.
Said video does not make me want to drink deeply of Red Sox Nation and its countless tentacles. It does, however, make me want to deliver a solemn apology to DJ Kool Herc for what we have wrought.
Some people go to Spring Training games to see the stars prepare for the regular season, like starting pitcher Ubaldo Jimenez in a Rockies-Padres game at Salt River Fields earlier this spring. Some of us, however, go to see players like the 9th batter in this Rockies lineup:
In fact, I was so impressed by Unknown that I headed straight to the Rockies’ team store and dialed up his jersey! Check it out.
(Click to embiggen)
Beautiful, isn’t it? The sleeveless look is perfect for me, as I don’t plan on wearing any undershirts with this jersey.
By the way, the MLB.com website was extremely complimentary of my selection:
Thanks kindly, MLB!
A picture tells a thousand words.
Well, except when it’s a picture of three words, as it is in this case. This picture tells three words. Namely, “thornton named closet.”
The yearly cycle for a bad team should be familiar to most.
There’s the uplifting dawn that is spring with it’s bird-chirping optimism. There’s the disillusionment of summer, when, as if wilting in the strong noon-time sun, everything that can go wrong does go wrong. And then there’s the softly-falling sadness of the offseason, when even jaded fans pine for the good old days – because flawed baseball is still baseball.
The 1970s, aka THE best decade for couples yachting.
Ben and Casey Affleck (henceforth “Ben Affleck”) and Matt Damon are working on a movie about the whole Fritz Peterson/Mike Kekich wife-swapping thing from the 70s (tentative title: “The Trade”). To me this sounds ok. The story’s old news, but it could make a good movie.
Unless… wait a second. Is it possible that well-known Red Sox propagandists Matt Damon and Ben Affleck, in making a film about a controversy involving Yankee players, are actually committing a deeply violative act? Is this in fact a veritable crime, being perpetrated upon honest Yankees of yore by partisans of a pathetically incompetent and unredeemably racist rival team? In a dark paroxysm of vindictive hypocrisy?
Yahoo! Sports Contributor Network contributing user Roy A. Barnes thinks so. Read the rest of this entry »
Brewers ender of ballgames John Axford wants you to help him choose his entrance music. As we all know, a closer’s entrance music is as vital to his success as his fastball and his morning muesli followed by a round of deep knee bends. That Axford is leaving such an important matter up to the will of the people demonstrates that, a, he is of, for and by those very people, and, b, Nickelback is just awful.
Anyhow, you’d think Axford, based on his winsome and gentlemanly mustache, would prefer whatever parlor music is favored by accomplished 19th-century railroad barons, but will the people give it to him? No, they will not. That’s because whenever the question involves music, the answer is always, always, eternally and without fail, “Motorhead backed by an orchestra” …
Steve Jobs + baseball = magic.
Things have improved for fans looking to stream MLB.tv on their televisions: On Wednesday Apple TV added support for the service.
MLB.tv streaming is already available on lots of electronic things; a full list is here. But for those who aren’t satisfied watching on smart phones, computers, or tablet computers — for those who prefer to watch sports from a slight distance, sprawled on softly yielding couches — the options haven’t been great.
Yeah, I can hook my laptop up to my TV, but that’s fiddly and monopolizes my laptop during games. I could invest in a Blu-ray player or game console that supports MLB.tv streaming, but that’s expensive. The iPad 2 has an HDMI out, but sadly I don’t have an iPad 2. Until this week, the Roku video player was the only option for a $100 or cheaper device designed to put MLB.tv on my television. The $99 Apple TV is a welcome addition to this category.
In closing, since some percentage of this post constitutes free advertising for MLB.tv, here’s an obligatory: Fix the blackouts, you guys.
You know me: I don’t use the phrase “Eternal Hero of the Fightin’ Republic” lightly. But I’m calling Brooklynite Mitch Davie an Eternal Hero of the Fightin’ Republic. Why? Feast thine eyes …
It’s one thing to catch a bat in full helicopter mode with one hand. It’s another thing to catch a bat in full helicopter mode while, with the other, nobler hand, safeguarding your beer as though it were a Faberge egg, which in some ways it is. It’s still yet another thing to do all this while demonstrating reasonably good taste in wholesome, nutritious alcohol.
When I go to war with the dark forces that plague us — and it’s only a matter of time before I do just that — I want Mitch Davie at my side.
(Awkward fist-bump: The Seattle Times)
Headlines are a funny thing. They are designed to get your attention, or the attention of a search engine somewhere, while summing up the contents in a pithy way. Often they contain internet memes or SEO-optimization key words. Sometimes, like today, they contain both. /header #MLB #baseball
Over the years we’ve had some fun with the “Free Person X” internet meme, which most probably spawned from Free Mumia, but has since gone a little crzazlebeans, if you know what I mean, and baseball has taken the saying under it’s wing. Whether it’s Kila Ka’aihue that must be #freed from the clutches of the incompetent Royals, or Brandon Allen that must fight the good fight against the spaced invaders that wish to take his playing time, we’ve used that sentence construction to encourage young men to go against what’s wrong. Having been guilty of capriciously throwing the phrase around just last week, this is no finger-wagging piece, though.
Instead, call this piece the anthropological wanderings inspired by the title and subject of a serious piece by Larry Behrendt at It’s About the Money Stupid. In his latest, Larry examines the fate of young Lainer Bueno. The Venezuelan shortstop may not have a future in baseball, but attribute that mostly to a fateful combination of a lack of major-league talent (228/.336/.239 in Venezuelan Summer League) and the possibly unfortunate positive test for clenbuterol. The combination has him a free agent, and Larry thinks it’s an injustice.
Read the whole thing, do it. Afterwards, you may feel that our entry point to this article was all wrong today. Behrendt’s piece is a serious uncovering of the holes in MLB’s drug testing policy as it relates to Venezuelans and clenbuterol in particular. It looks like there’s a real reason the league may want to look at the fact that, according to “Scorecasting” by Tobias Moskowitz and Jon Wertheim, Venezuelan baseball players are about 4 times more likely to test positive for drugs than their American counterparts. It may not just be about skeezy agents in Latin America. The beef may be the real meat to the story.
But the title, and even the article, can make a mind wander to other “Free” movements in baseball. The parallels may seem stretched, and its continued use may even seem to cheapen the phrase. On the other hand, injustice exists. And whether the injustice at hand is an unequal appropriation of playing time, an unfair exclusion from the sport, or an incarceration surrounded by real questions, it doesn’t deserve to continue. And if it takes a hashtag, a slogan, a link and a few re-tweets to uncover and document that injustice, that’s about the least we can do.
Scratch that, it’s the very least we can do.
NYC’s Crif Dogs. Photo: Serious Eats.
Inspired by the arrival of Spring Training, the Orlando Sentinel offers a small article regarding hot dogs. It’s a summer salad of hot dog-related tips and trivia featuring a small but worthwhile portion of informational grist.
First worth grinding is the title of the piece: “Hot dogs fit baseball like the perfect glove.” I know that initially sounds like it might make sense, but take a moment to think through the simile. Just roll it around in your mind’s eye. Ok, now go have a nightmare.
To the wiener wisdom:
“Don’t put hot-dog toppings between the hot dog and the bun. Always ‘dress the dog,’ not the bun.”
I have to admit, I sometimes dress the bun. But it makes sense why you shouldn’t do that. (Hint: absorbency delta.)
“Condiments should be applied in the following order: wet condiments (mustard and the like), followed by chunky condiments (relish, onions and sauerkraut), shredded cheese and spices.”
That also sounds like pretty good advice. Mind you, when I’m given options for my hot dog that include numerous “wet” condiments, “chunky condiments,” shredded cheese and “spices,” I normally just have the room service guy at the Mandarin Oriental dress the hot dog for me before he leaves.
“Dogs wrapped in buns are easy to manage with one hand, making the horizontal sandwiches practically custom-made for all kinds of sporting events.”
Are you explaining hot dogs to a Medieval time traveler or something? Actually that’s very unlikely, because they didn’t have time machines back then, or really any machines at all, unless you count trebuchets and iron maidens and stuff. A time traveler from the future is more plausible, but they’d probably know all about hot dogs. Unless — we forget about hot dogs, in the future???
“Don’t slather ketchup on your hot dog after the age of 18. Mustard, relish, onions, cheese and chili are acceptable.”
Ok lady, you’re cut off. No ketchup after 18! WHAT will the Orlando Sentinel say next.
