Archive for Discovery

“Some Common Weaknesses Illustrated” by Mr. @cistulli is only $0.99 for the Kindle. It’d be rude not to buy it at that price.

— Craig Robinson (@flipflopflying) January 26, 2012

I’ve got to admit, it was pretty fantastic listening to a Britisher, the one and only Mr. Craig Robinson, talk about baseball, among other things, last week on FanGraphs Audio. That accent, man; gets me every time. Although, I will say, it pained me deeply to learn that the legend behind Flip Flop Fly Ball, the man who’s led me — led all of us — on numerous baseball infographic adventures, is a New York Yankeees supporter. The horror.

Anyway, after listening to Mr. Robinson wax poetic about baseball, Mexico City, and the remix of R. Kelly’s “Feelin’ On Your Booty,” I came across his tweet, embedded above, about the works of NotGraphs’s Supreme Leader, Carson Cistulli. As a Canadian, and therefore the definitive opposite of “rude,” I felt it was my patriotic duty to buy “Some Common Weaknesses Illustrated.” I mean, the cover alone is worth the $0.99. (Or $1.03 Canadian.) And, let me tell you, the book didn’t disappoint. Cistulli is one of the greatest poets of our time; a real-life Rafael de la Ghetto, if I may.

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Among the things that are always funny — along with taking your pants off at an area H&R Block location and then, later that same day, taking your pants off again at an area Jackson Hewitt location — is when somebody asks the Atlanta Journal Constitution’s David O’Brien about the Braves bench but misspells the word shot and then David O’Brien answers the question anyway and then a blogger notices it and takes a screen cap of it and writes a post all about it and then cries because his life is just a husk of a life.

With the news last week that Fausto Carmona is not actually Fausto Carmona, many have been wondering how widespread this fake identity phenomenon actually is among major league players. While it is generally assumed that such players hail from the Dominican Republic, my investigative reporting has uncovered a more surprising poser in the major league mix.

“Hunter Pence” of the Philadelphia Phillies was arrested yesterday outside the consulate my heart, for assuming a false identity. His real name is Rick Nielsen, he is 37 years older than he has claimed, and he is the lead guitarist and songwriter of Cheap Trick.

“hunter pence”

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Thanks to the presumably fine folks at Rising Apple, I have learned of the existence of pop artist David Kushner. I surveyed his Etsy page in the manner of a man about to spend money on things his wife will neither understand nor outwardly countenance, which, it turns out, is precisely what I am. Why am I so tempted to part with U.S. currency that would be better deployed in the service of things known widely as “basic essentials”? Eyeballs awake:

And …

I loathe the Mets of the 1980s, but, as with Goya’s macabre explorations of the Inquisition, sometimes sanctioned repugnance of awful scale yields pretty pictures. So it is with all of this.

And now I shall sell whatever copper plumbing I can find in order to commission a portrait of Ted Simmons necking with Lola Falana.

I’m at work. On a Sunday. So, naturally, I’m procrastinating. Mere moments ago, I stumbled upon “Negro League Baseball,” by Natural Resource, a track I’d never heard before, on YouTube. Which makes this breaking news. Get it, “Heard this”? Oh, come on.

Anyway: Hip hop and baseball, two of my favorite things. Bless the Internet.

Baseball is not just a sport
It’s the verbal, mental, physical, spiritual, emotional level
That we are on.

Natural Resource: Baseball nerds.

The folks at Viva El Birdos have outdone themselves. Let’s get right down to business: Here’s the original, via Getty Images:

And here are, as I like to call them, the masterpieces:

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At 1:07 AM Eastern Time, friend of the site Yirmiyahu emailed us with this urgent query:

So, who the hell is Willians Astudillo? He’s lead the minors in lowest K rate for 3 consecutive years (0.9%, 1.8%, 4.8%). How are those numbers possible? Does he bunt every single time? Another fun fact: he’s played multiple games at 7 different positions.

Unfortunately, the internet doesn’t seem to know anything at all about this guy except for his stats pages. Seriously, I’m fascinated. If your sources cannot reveal any information about this guy, it’s your duty to make some shit up.

A quick look at Astudillo’s Fangraphs page reveals that he is indeed very good at not striking out. In three seasons with the Phillies Venezuelan Summer League team, Astudillo has struck out 16 times over 648 plate appearances. Better yet, after striking out 10 times in 2009 VSL play, he struck out just 4 times in 2010, and then 2 times last year. So, if the pattern holds this year, he is due to strike out between 0 and 1 times. That is indeed pretty remarkable.

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Over at SB Nation, which has its own currency and standing military and everything, Jon Bois has done the blessed and necessary work of putting together the top 50 sports GIFs of 2011. I tell no tales when I say the Internet World Championship Belt is now around the handsome waist of Mr. Bois.

As is the case with all great acts of Internetting, however, I am left with questions. For instance, how is number five not number one? Another: When will the woman — the philistine bitch-face — in the following GIF be boiled in oil in the town square for the satisfaction and amusement of the right-wise? Click and then ready your pitchforks and torches …

Short of a public execution, which I understand is frowned upon by those who don’t realize Increase Mather was right about everything, I hope this lady breaks a shin once a year for the rest of her life and gets pregnant with triplets at age 52.

As I am wont to do, I was recently reading Woman’s Day and ran across this championship bit of information, which was under the ever-evolving rubric of “Things You Can Put in the Dishwasher”:

4. Baseball Hats and Visors
“The dishwasher is a fantastic way to make sure hats keep their shapes,” says Linda Cobb, a cleaning expert who is also known as the Queen of Clean. Put hats on the top rack, head opening down, on a separate wash cycle from dishes because you can’t use dishwasher detergent (many contain bleaching agents). Instead, fill the detergent cup with borax, found in the supermarket laundry aisle. Run a regular cycle without the heated dry option, then place hat over a glass or jar to dry. Reshape brim while damp.

Slipping in (tee hee) a transparent double entendre like “reshape brim while damp”? That’s sooo Woman’s Day.

This has been a post about putting your hat in the dishwasher. This is the offseason.

You’re going to want to embiggen. Actually, click here.

While there are plenty of brilliant outcomes to choose from, my favorite one is: “Why?”

I feel you, Orioles fans. I do. But, as the flowchart accurately points out, at least you’ve got a fabulous ballpark.

A tip of the cap — a brand new Orioles one — to the Tumblr account of Billy, 22, from Virginia, which he’s named, “You Will Always Be A Loser.” Billy’s a true Orioles fan, no doubt.