Archive for Baseball Card Tournament

It’s been a while since we checked in on the Baseball Card Tourney. It’s time to call the battle between Andre Dawson and Craig Biggio. Maybe it was never a battle — the three seed had a name that rhymed with awesome, after all. The rook and his disgusted look didn’t stand a chance. Dawson moves on.

In our next #3 versus #6 battle, we have two lesser known players getting ready to do battle. One of them won 100 games in the major leagues, so he gets the #3 seed. But maybe we’ll get a close one this time. Eh boys?

#3 1981 Topps Doyle Alexander
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In the last #2/#7 battle of the tournament, Sparky Lyle triumphed. His ‘stache was not trash, and it overcame Don Mattingly’s strange over-sized comic-strip-backed entry into the competition. Twirl those ends!

And so we move to the #3/#6 battles. If the tourney seeding committee, comprised of me, has seeded these things well, the voting will be tight. This week, both cards come from the same set, but the players are found at very different points of their career.

1989 Topps Andre Dawson
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Well, that was a trouncing. Gorman Thomas and his flowing locks cared not for the young upstart mustache of Moose Haas, especially with the kid’s lack of a hat. Thomas moves on to the next round. Up is up and down is down in the Brewers world. Time to move along.

Now it’s time for our final #2/#7 pairing. We’ll reach across decades this time, and though the visual contrast is jarring, this might be the most mild-mannered matchup of the tournament. Which way do you hang? It’s time for another edition of Baseball Card Tourney!

#2 1981 Topps Sparky Lyle
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Last week was one of the hardest-fought battles of the tourney so far. The smooth stylings of Keith Hernandez went up against the brash bravado of Wally Backman and it looks like we have our second upset in a row. Wally Backman moves on. Keith Hernandez and his mustache power were defeated by young Wally in his utterness. Another #7 moves on! Are the number two seeds cursed?

This week, it’s time for another team-themed battle. The Brew Crew puts forward two young men in their primes for the third #2/#7 pairing. Once again, there’s a favorite. What will happen this week on Baseball Card Tourney?

#2 1980 Topps Gorman Thomas
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We have our first upset. Dave Winfield obviously wasn’t taking the whole thing very serious and Warren Brusstar glared his way to victory. Maybe Winfield was ranked too highly, or maybe he was just bored, or maybe it was October in his world, but Brusstar’s constipated fire beat the sated mmplops look. Maybe that says something about our bathroom preferences.

Anyway. It’s time to move on. This week we have two classic Mets figures going head to head. Could we have another fire and ice pairing? Looks like it.

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We’re not going to break new tournament ground here. No number one seeds went down, and though Steve Bedrosian was huggable, the Mad Hungarian won out.

So now we’re on to the two seeds. And now an upset becomes more likely. Especially when the high seed looks like he’s sitting on the toilet.

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Every tournament must begin with its blowouts. It’s the way of the number one seed in the first round. So don’t cry a tear for Mike Flanagan, he’s already gone. The goofy happiness of the 1981 Fleer Bruce Sutter was just too much for him to overcome. Honestly, how do you say anything negative in the face of such unbridled optimism and joy? Not happening.

And now we have our final blowout in the making. Once again, we find ourselves with a couple relievers touting full facial hair. Unfortunately for one, the other owns a legendary nickname. It may be a fait accompli, but let’s play this one out, shall we? Because then we can get on to the closer matchups and root for some underdogs.

#8. 1989 Topps Steve Bedrosian
Guys? Guys? Are we sure about this? I mean, he’s crazy. The Mad Hungarian they call him. I don’t really want to get in the ring with him. I mean, sure, I like my full beard. And I am a closer – pretty good one, had 28 saves last year. But come on, dude has enough screws loose to put up a house. I don’t know, I don’t feel good about this. Guys? Guys?

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Any former NCAA bracket owner knows that #1-seeds don’t lose in the first round – ever. And with the fire in Dennis Eckersley’s eyes, the doe-like innocence of Terry Felton wasn’t going to be the first to prevail. Eckersley moves on. Much like Rich Gale falling to Rollie Fingers the week before, the haughty style of the legendary closer is too much for mere mortals to overcome.

So what is it about closers in our sample? This week’s #1 is, once again, a bullpen ace. Although, to be fair, his style is more huggable than fierce, and his card more lovable than flaming hot.

#8. 1981 Donruss Mike Flanagan
This is some straight-up b-crap. Oh, he’s a loony lefty, a funny guy, he won’t care if we use a g-damn fuzzy picture for his card. You can’t even see my mustache. That’s not me throwing a pitch, that’s me dropping a frigging turd on the offices of Donruss. Oh I didn’t follow up my Cy Young season with greatness in 1980, did I? Well if someone could find my stinking strikeout rate, we could iron that little hiccup out, couldn’t we? Way to pick a winner to represent me, tourney president. I’ve got a one-finger salute for you.

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Last week’s matchup was the blowout that you’d expect with a #1 seed in the first round, and we’ll have to call it: 1981 Topps Rollie Fingers has roundly defeated 1981 Topps Rich Gale despite username “Mac” and his strong support for Mr. Gale. Now it’s time to move to another conference and check out a similar blowout-ready clash.

As always, vote as you see fit. Although your biased tournament president only sees one ending to THIS matchup.

#8. 1983 Fleer Terry Felton
Did you know? I was the strikeout leader in Toledo in 1981! 99 of em! I played football in high school, too. I was the second overall pick! My eyes are clear, my heart is full, I can’t lose. Look at the hopefulness in my gaze. Look at the anticipation. Do you want to crush this? I’m on my way!

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We know baseball players have feelings. And we know we have feelings about baseball cards. Maybe it’s not so far-fetched to think that baseball cards themselves have feelings.

We know that baseball players are competitive. And we know that we baseball fans are competitive, even about collecting. So maybe it’s not so far-fetched to believe that if baseball cards have feelings, one of the feelings they have more often than not is one of competitive fire.

All of this necessitates a competition between baseball cards. A seeded tournament.

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