Archive for Audio and/or Visual

As discerning baseball fans, many of us tend to get a little snarky during the All-Star break. Part of it could stem from the fact that real baseball takes some time off, but a lot of it seems to come from a general conception of silliness. The Home Run Derby is silly. The fact that the All-Star Game counts for something is silly. Every team getting a representative is silly. While these all ring true in varying degrees in me, I still like the All-Star Game. I try, real hard at times, to not be cynical about baseball. Life is full of frustration and bleakness and disappointment and confusion. We shouldn’t seek that out in baseball, at least not too much. Baseball isn’t an escape from life, it’s an alternative. It’s where we would live were we somehow able to live inside a concept. This is why I try to watch baseball through the rosiest of glasses.

I also watch baseball for people like Steve Delabar. Until very recently, I didn’t know much about him. I know that he had blown out his elbow and was doing well after being an old rookie, but it ended there. Then, I stumbled upon the below video. Much focus was given last night to Mariano Rivera, and, of course, for very good reason. A swan song is almost always a touching moment. But save for a few remarks from Joe Buck, Delabar wasn’t talked about all that much. While Rivera’s story of poverty and success is a classic trope in baseball, I find myself drawn more to stories like Delabar’s. Because he fought the odds as an adult. He’d seen the other side, knew what it was like to be a failure, and persevered. He put the dour inevitability of normal on pause not once, but twice. Kids want to be Mariano Rivera. Adults want to be Steve Delabar. Delabar gives us hope that something — probably not baseball, but something — is still attainable. Delabar allows us, as grownups, to have children’s dreams. That, and he throws 97, which is cool no matter what age you are.

Not only can the new Windows 8 operating system allow you to split the screen with two programs, but it can provide splits for unsplittable statistics:

The YouTube commenters can fight all they want about Mac vs. PC, but I think the more serious issue here is that of ERA versus lefties. How does that work?! HOW DID WINDOWS BREAK THE CONTEXT-DEPENDENT CODE?! DO EARNED RUNS COUNT AGAINST A PITCHER ONLY IF THE PLAYER ON BASE IS A LEFTY? WHAT IF THE THE RUNNER IS A SWITCH HITTER?!

Windows knows.

I’ll whip any of you nerds if I’ve got my boi Luigi on the mound. Just try me.

And you can tell as much by the silences as by the words he uses.

HawkUpset2

It may not be fair to refer to Voice of the Cardinals Mike Shannon as a “friend of the site” merely because he appeared one time on one single episode of FanGraphs Audio. The author will definitely continue referring to Shannon as such (i.e. “a friend of the site”); it just might not be fair when he does it, is the point.

That convoluted point having nearly been made, allow the author to state the purpose of this post — namely, to announce that friend of the site Mike Shannon was working at the very top of his abilities during the ninth inning of tonight’s (Friday’s) Rangers-Cardinals game — a game which turned out to be a loss for the home team, but a win for anyone who found him- or herself listening to KMOX NewsRadio 1120 at approximately 10pm CT.

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The Giants called up Juan Perez, a 26-year-old center fielder in Triple-A who had never seen the bigs before, because they were short on center fielders with Angel Pagan out. The young man has tools and strengths, but he knows the former and is working on the latter.

To wit, two things he said to me before last night’s game:

1) “I got a good arm. I just made a good throw in a perfect time in the game.”

Then he did this Tuesday night.

2) “This year, I’ve been working on my two-strike approach, trying to be more selective and get the ball in play.”

Then he did this on a 3-2 count in the eighth inning Tuesday night.

Well done, young man. Well done.

As noted in the introduction to his most recent appearance on FanGraphs Audio, Dayn Perry has recently cancelled his land-line phone service so that he might more ably shoulder the financial burden of having his child educated by Catholics. That being the case, the author of this post — and host of that podcast — was compelled to call Perry on his cell phone to record that episode, which cell-phone connection afforded what’s known in the industry as “shit sound quality.”

What follows is the (deleted) audio from the beginning of the aforementioned conversation — which includes not only an even less coherent Perry than usual, but also the entire and laborious process of Perry both downloading and registering with Skype.

The reader would do well to note that the following is not intended for people who are accustomed to making good life decisions.

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It’s the present author’s contention that the public is entirely too invested in what are often referred to as “current events” — or, rather, that the sort of event which qualifies as “current” ought to be broadened substantially.

For example, a 25-year-old version of Alfredo Despaigne hit his Cuban League record-tying and -breaking 34th and 35th home runs on April 3rd, 2012. That was an achievement of some note when it occurred. The author, however, has just re-watched footage of them this afternoon — plus also Despaigne’s 40th home run, which occurred about a month later — while putting off a short jog that he should actually be taking so that he might more comfortably fit into a pair of Land’s End-brand shorts he recently purchased under the watchful eye of his blameless wife.

Are Despaigne’s feats of strength over a year old? Yes. However, do they live on so that we might come upon them, hungry for diversion, willing to put off till tomorrow what could theoretically be done right now? Yes. Also that.

Below are the videos in question, for the reader to utilize in whichever way he chooses.

34th Home Run
This is Despaigne’s record-tying home run, on which he breaks his bat.

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The footage by Bullpen Banter’s Steve Fiorindo of very recent Phillies draft pick J.P Crawford taking infield practice doesn’t necessarily suggest to the author that he (i.e. Crawford) will be a major-league shortstop. What we see later in that same video, however, is Crawford hitting, like, seven home runs by means of a swing that one feels compelled to compare to butter or honey or some other manner of viscous flavor enhancer.

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(This is courtesy of WTMJ, from the Sunday game v. the Phillies)

I fancy myself fairly competent at various things. I can play a decent tuba. I’m an OK curler. I can fix your computer. I can … do whatever it is I do here. You may be good at things too — very good, even. I’m sure you worked long and hard at that thing, and you’re very proud of yourself. All of that being said, it pains me to bring up the fact that no matter what you’re good at, you will not be as good at that thing as Bob Uecker is at calling baseball games. Sorry.

The story isn’t the best one he’s ever told, but it’s a perfect example of how he can weave play-by-play with a narrative. You know where the game ends and the story begins (and vice versa), but it’s almost like the words don’t know. They just keep coming, playing off each other. Bob Uecker is all five parts in a jazz quintet. He’s everyone in the improv troupe, and he’s “yes, and”-ing the shit out of himself.

Did Charlie Sheen really say all those things? Probably not. I don’t care. Because Bob Uecker could read the User’s Manual for Adobe CS4, and I’d still listen. This is art. This is science. This is perfection.