Casting ASG 2012: The Movie

I’m sure we all had the same thought when the starting lineups for this year’s All-Star Game were announced. Namely: Who, WHO will portray these gentlemen in the inevitable Hollywood dramatization? That dramatization became somewhat more evitable once the National League opened a can of whup-ass on Justin “For the Fans” Verlander, but the question still burns. Luckily, we now have MyHeritage.com’s powerful and sophisticated Celebrity Face Recognition service to replace the notoriously fallible decisions of human casting directors. Here, then, is the cast, and for the full revelation of startling and often haunting doppelgangerhood, please do embiggen by clicking.

Starring:

JOHNNY DAMON as Jose Bautista
ALLEN IVERSON as Adrian Beltre
PEDRO MARTINEZ as Robinson Cano
MADONNA as Prince Fielder
DAVE CHAPPELLE as Curtis Granderson
CILLIAN MURPHY as Josh Hamilton
DEREK JETER as Himself
ALLEN IVERSON as Mike Napoli
PEDRO MARTINEZ as David Ortiz
ALEXIS DENISOF as Justin Verlander

with:

ICHIRO as Carlos Beltran
HUGH JACKMAN as Ryan Braun
VIVIAN HSU as Melky Cabrera
GHEORGHE HAGI as Rafael Furcal
BAE YONG-JUN as Carlos Gonzalez
JAY HERNANDEZ as Buster Posey
CARL LEWIS as Pablo Sandoval
WILLIE NELSON as Dan Uggla
YURI GAGARIN as Joey Votto
BRYAN ADAMS as Matt Cain